with all the excitement of last year, i have neglected my little xanga site.  funny how the last thing i wrote about was my first date with adam.  well, my first unofficial date.  on our first official date, he picked me up & gave me a bouquet of flowers.  he had created a mixed cd of music as a soundtrack for the evening.  we went to the conservatory after hours and had a private tour of the gardens and sat in the desert room as we watched the sun set over the city.  then we had sushi for dinner and jeni's ice cream afterwards.  lastly, he drove me around the city and showed me all of his favorite spots.  it was incredible.

for the rest of the spring and into the summer, we had a date war.  we took turns coming up with ideas and activities to surprise the other person on our dates.  then last july on a picnic in the park of roses over glasses of peach wine, he proposed. 

we were married in the fall, in our friend's backyard under the apple trees.  it was the perfect day for an outdoor wedding and instead of cake we had ice cream (jeni's of course!).  i couldn't have been happier.

now it is spring again, almost summer.  it has been a glorious year.

i have learned that the creative and the spiritual are interconnected and of the great pleasure in being finite is that there is always more to learn.  as an artist and an individual, i know myself and my work to be conduit for the divine, a bridge covering the gap from inspiration to creation.  i delight in the pleasure of the universe; doing what i was designed to do. 

my brother recently accused me of only writing on xanga when something major happens in my life.  that's only partly true.  some major things have happened in my life that i haven't written about.

i've been much too depressed lately to write much of anything.  winter has that effect on me and has only intensified the disappointments of the season.  anti-depressants only help to a certain point.  too bad they can't pull me out of bed in the morning or encourage me to write.

after five years of being part of a wonderful church, it has dissolved and here i am again lost in the world looking for a body of the spiritually likeminded to join.  my ex-boyfriend called me a "wayward hippie" and although i am not sure how he wanted me to take it, i agreed with him and entertained thoughts of signing up for the peace corps.  somehow moving to a remote corner of the world seems easier than finding another church. n it's a weird place to be, again.  my church was my family and so i feel orphaned and the sadness is overwhelming. 

so much for christmas cheer....